Heart Versus Head

Be lead by that which you know to be true and right.

regret. nothing.

I usually follow my heart unless my heart leads to do something I know is wrong. Emotions can be deceiving.

But I've also followed my heart when it would have been easier, and acceptable, to follow my head.

18 months ago, a friend was arrested for a crime this friend says he did not do. My husband and I have known this friend since high school and were good friends with the friend and his family, up until recently. I have to admit, the crime is very out of character for this friend who never committed a crime before, had a successful job, etc… He had made some bad decisions in his personal life, but certainly nothing to warrant an arrest.

Nevertheless, it happened. It would have been easy, and acceptable from outsiders, to walk away from the friend and the stress/drama/whatever-you-want-to-call-it that comes with incarceration, hearings, pleas, etc… My head was saying "Let it go. It's not your problem. Guilt by association. By associating with him, you're condoning the alleged crime."

My heart was saying "He's a friend regardless. He'd be there for you if the tables were reversed. Don't give up on him."

But since this person's entire family abandoned him, and Dale and I were, literally, his only friends, we could not; I could not. His guilt or innocence was not an issue with me. Although a trial to provide closure would have been nice, (a plea deal was offered and accepted) it wouldn't have changed the way I treat this friend. Dale and I would still visit him, write him, take his calls and will do so for the next 15 years to life.

I'm glad I listened to my heart even though I've caught slack for it, been condemned for it, and lost a friend over it. I know that when I am old and dying, looking back on my life I will be glad to say I have no regrets on how I treated this person.

I'd rather be made a fool of for following my heart than live with regret that I should've done something different.

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About mtewks

I like to write for fun and profit. This is my fun blog.
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3 Responses to Heart Versus Head

  1. Shelley says:

    You know where I stand on this and how I HAVE to follow my gut. I would expect from you no less than this tho because that is what I love about you, your open heart and mind. I have lost a friend over a decision I have made, but my heart knows (now) that I was “right” for lack of a better word. I don’t regret a thing.


  2. Courtney says:

    I’ve regretted some things that have happened by placing heart over head (why do you think I’ve been engaged 4 times, and still never gotten married?), but the support of our mutual friend is definately not one of them. For me, it’s not just my heart, but a mutual bond he & I share as brothers; brothers I never had growing up, no matter how close I was & still am to my cousins. And now my heart, as well as my head, tell me that backing L. is the only thing I could possibly do. Because my not backing him, knowing and growing with the character he has, would feel very, very wrong. And “to thine own self be true”, that’s not something I could back away from and live with on my conscience.

    Oh, and great blog, Mary, even tho I dont really track blogs, and am pretty bad about my facebook account.


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